Ravea''s sex school(copy paste)

[Saissa]

In an expansion long time ago on a realm far, far away there was a guild called Pinioned.
When I was a memeber of that guild on Ravencrest (pre WotlK and even pre TBC) I became a friend and fan-boi of Ravea, the greatest spammer and teacher ever seen by an orc before he got his throat slith. Becauseof the fact that our forum have been a bit slow, I figured I'd reward those nerds who have time to come and visit with a little guide, just in case you get the opportune chance of meeting a girl, on sex. This is not my work even tho I'll edit some names to make it more comprehensive for Emotional Assault members.

Ofc with every grand work there is alot of paperwork wich follows:

All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of Ravea Inc©. No fur-bearing animals were harmed during the creation of this document. Allergy alert: may contain nutmeg, but we doubt it. Return for refund where applicable. Not recommended for persons with sugar-restricted diets. Batteries are included -- best of luck finding them. Proud sponsor of the 1934 penguin olympic games at Themessangers Home, Antarctica. May cause irritability, sleeplessness or warts after prolonged use. Contents under pressure. BHT added to preserve freshness. Caution: this product has caused some laboratory rats to rip through their cages, fly across the room and brutally murder hundreds of innocent people. Shake well before using. No vacuum tubes or other user-serviceable parts inside. Not to be combined with other radioisotopes except under the advice of a physician. Avoid prolonged exposure to ultraviolet light. The truth is out there. Use no hooks. Not intended for use by children or liberals under the age of five. Printed on unrecycled dead trees and we're proud of it.

[Saissa]

Ravea:
"That's right! I've got my own sexschool.

Zun requested me to revive my loved articles on this forum. Right now I'm at my work, but once I get home I'll have a look into it! I started writing these as a respond to the vibes I've got from Northern Alliance. There was this day on Ventrilo where Milleus was hitting on Lanababz sister via Ventrilo.. this made me think: "oh boi, these younsta's have no clue how it's done". So to make sure everyone knows how it's done, I've created several steps that should enlighten all of you in the glamerous world or "Sex and Warcraft". "

[Saissa]

Lesson 1.The penis.

The penis is the male reproduction organ. When god made the penis he was fucking drunk and decided to screw all boys over so he made the ugliest piece of wank ever created in the nature. Ohwell, deal with it. The penis ranges from about 5cm (Arthor) to about 35cm (Saissa ofc). The size of your penis is a scale often used to measure manhood and coolness. Thus Arthor sux and Saissa rock o/ Anyway. The penis`s most sensitive areas are the head and shaft. If rubbed/licked etc. the penis will after a while (4 seconds if ur Arthor and about 4 hours if you're Saissa) shoot out a load called SEMEN. THe semen is the stuff that runs inside the vagina (lesson 2 will follow soon) and finds the egg and decides, hey lets take a dive into that egg and make babies. Lesson 2 following soon THE VAGINA.

[Saissa]

Sex Vol.2

Again, as i picture myself being in you guys`s shoes, staring at this webpage and these wonderfull lesson with my sweet, blue virgin eyes; the first lesson on sexualintercourse will be quite easy for you guys to understand. If someone here has had sex before (lol i know its not very likely,but it could be), that person might find it somewhat stupid. BUT this is made for a bunch of prepubescent zitinfested WoWgoofs and i hope for your understanding. Now back to the rest of you. As i suspect most of you have seen your own penis in the erected condition. It doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out how the vagina is shaped to fit on the penis BUT AGAIN, after judging my audience i have decided to say some words about that aswell.

Picture you have somekinda moldingpaste and you stuff a banana up in the moldingpaste, the hole the banana leaves after removal is somewhat what the vagina looks like. Its a bad example but you get the fucking picture. Having sex is swapping the banana with THE PENIS (see lesson 1) and putting it in and out of the hole (also called THE VAGINA). This may for all of you sound like something really fucking stupid to do but im pretty sure all of you would be wanting more after the first time. Is that all to it ? No, im afraid not. Or let me rephrase, it CAN be.

First before you can answer that question, let me ask you something. Do you want girls talking about ? Do you want busloads of hoes running to you BEGGING you to fuck their brains out ? If the answer is YES, having sex is ALOT more than putting the penis in and out of the vagina. Thats why I have personally invented something i like to call forplay / vorspiel. Its well known (fuck forgot the audience again) i mean, girls need more stimulation that men to reach climax. Therefor even if you have stamina like a fucking greek god (like Saissa), there is a risk you wont please the hoe just by putting your penis in and out of her vagina. Therefor AFTER luring her into your bedroom (how you are going to manage this is beyond me and im afraid i cant help you there either. What? Im good at this but not that fucking good, geez) start the intercourse by stroking/licking/rubbing her ERGONE zones. A girl has SHITLOADS of these, its really just pick a fucking spot and its an ergone zone, but good tips are the inside of her thigh, under her knee, tits / nipple, ear, neck. After doing that for like 10 mins go on to the vagina. This will probably sound gross to you and it did to me aswell at first, but when you're in the setting its not really that bad and the vagina does NOT smell like the penis. Lick, rub, etc etc. For atleast a good 15 mins. NOW YOUR READY. For sex lesson vol.3 More dripping info tomorrow guys. Hope i havent lost to many.

[Saissa]

Sex Lesson 3:

You are now ready for IT to happend. The tramp is lying there with her head full of expectations and your so nervous, the scream of a mouse would make you piss her down. You crawl up into a position with makes you comfortable (misionary is good for starters, thats her on the back you on your stomace between her legs)And now we come to a point where the VETS argue, but take my advice here, im the leetest vet. Should YOU put it in or let HER do it ? Some says making her do it makes you look like a newbie, but i say the opposite. The vagina CAN be somewhat like the gate to batmans cave, small in the beginning, getting bigger and bigger after awhile. If you try to be superman and just FORCE it in and shag away, your probably gonna hurt her. So let her do it and start VERY gently (this is like 2 flies in one hit, starting gently = you dont hurt her, you last longer).

The trick to make it look elite is kissing and caressing her neck/tits at the same time, if you stare down between your legs like a maniac its gonna look pretty fucking stupid. Go on slowly and speedup after awhile, a trick to make it last longer is stopping up everytime you feel that soon no way back-feeling. Its hard and your probably gonna come within 2-3 minutes, but if you have done what i told you in the beginning its no biggie really, for a first timer you have done very good, for the impression you want to leave her about you, you have done somewhere between OK and DECENT. OFCOURSE the easiest way to do this is just fuck all ive said so far, get wasted and fuck her for 3 hours. Your not gonna feel anything after 10 beers. :)THERE. Virginity is gone.

[Saissa]

Sex Vol. 4

Ok lets bring this up a notch. Now im going to reveal one of my biggest and darkest secrets, i was uncertain if i was gonna bring this up, but there is a saying; if youve said A, you gotta say B so here goes. My stamina sucks. Yes. Its true. Its quite the shocker and i can feel the nerdenergy streaming out in frustration and pain from WoWaddicted computers all around the world. But let me explain and to do so ill use an example that I know you guys will understand. Theory: Your stamina in bed is like the energybar in WoW WITHOUT recharge. If you start with 100 energy you`ll last 100 dips in the pool before you come. The only factor that determines how long you last is how slow/fast you dip it. BEEP! W R O N G. Fact:Your stamina in bed CAN be compared to the energy bar, but WITH recharge, and if your REALLY good, you`ll even know a few tricks that earns you Max. Energy (or stamina bar) increase powerups (elite spirit or full Nightslayer). As i mentioned in Sex Vol.3 i said something about slowing down and stopping just before you feel the point of no return. Thats the trick here and that adds a funny homework assignment im going to give you all.

During your next masturbation, research the point of no return. How close to it can you go without comming ? How fast do you cool down and get ready for another go. THIS my dear friends, is the ESSENCE and the definit CLUE to becomming a fucking greek god in bed. LEARN and STUDY everything about the point of no return just like you have studied the huge size of Tonidrax's male boobs (and Arthor's penis) in this weird game called World of Warcraft!. Once you have become king of the point of no return, the world is at your feet. A few hints of what you probably will find out: After stopping just before the point of no return and cooling off for maybe 20 seconds / 30 seconds your given an almost fresh start. Getting back to the famous point WILL take quite a while and if your lucky, maybe even longer than it took the first time. Now lets reflect. Doesnt this mean that if you master the point of return good enough, you`ll be able to go
on for ever and ever and ever? Yep. It does. Neat, eh? Your first dip stamina will also improve greatly after a few weeks of regular sex so all in all, by following these hints and tips, you will become someone that the girls talk about and THAT my friends. Is the fucking essence of life.

Once you have acheived that, you might aswell quit school, start drinking on a regular basis and go on wealthfare for the rest of your life. The girls will keep pouring in, trust me. I know i promised to say something about some positions and stuff today, but i have to go eat lunch now so lets save that for tomorrows lesson shall we ? Ps. Remember ur homework!

[Saissa]

Sex vol. 5

OK lads! Lets say youve come to a point in the relationship (serious or not, who cares as long as your having sex on a regular basis) where your done exploring eachother, you feel pretty safe with her and may take things a step further. A good idea to find out if she has some clear No-go`s is to just talk with her, it might be abit embarrasing to bring it up. A good tip is just after a lay when your both in bed trying to sleep or whatever tell a joke about your good friend Saccer the seal basher, that accidently while drunk put it in the pooper of he's girlfriend and haha laf laf and the craziest thing was she fucking liked it haha haha etc. After telling that unfunny joke you`ll get one of these responds:

1: Haha WTF thats not gonna happend to me, im NEVER EVER going to take ANYTHING up the pooper
2: Haha hmm.. sounds interesting hehe, maybe if im drunk enough sometime ill let you try

If you get respond 1 you have a dilemma and need to throw her more bones to pick up where her limits go. If you get respond 2 you are free to do what teh fuck ever you want. Girls that take it up the pooper will do anything. The funny thing is if you bring it up in the right way, by humour and shits`ngiggles, im pretty sure you after some lubing will manage to get any girls do whatever you want. So what DO you want?

-Blowjobs. This is just fucking amazing and if a girl wont blow you leave her ass on the highway.
-Cumshots other places than the vagina. Again might sound weird but i swear it fucking owns
-Willingness to do kinky positions. Should never be a problem, just dont get stuck in a routine. Do her from behind, misionary, riding etc. Variation is the clue.

Variation is also good for your stamina, after doing one position for awhile, that way of stimulating the penis will cause earlier ejaculation that another position. My head feels kinda empty atm, but i doesnt feel like this lesson is done yet. Teacher goes home halfway trough work due to headache, recap of the rest will come tomorrow.

[Saissa]

Sex lessons Vol. 6

Are you virgins still reading this? Now, Some of you guys stated the fact that i have schooled you guys in the art of sex, when the problem lies miles AHEAD of this, the problem is actually meeting somebody willing to have sex with you. Now let me take you into Ravea's school of dating. Ill divide this lesson into 2.

Lesson #1, the quick fuck.
Lesson #2 The possible girlfriend.

Lesson #1:
Another way i could have divided these lessons are really into #1: Drunk and #2: Sober, because this is how it basically works. So. It's saturday, your horny, and you would like to meet a girl and get laid. Meeting a girl at a disco when your both pissed, the music is so loud you wouldnt hear a 600 lbs chick land after a 1500 feet fall and the worst, the beergoggles are so thick your actually proned to hook yourself up with the same 600lbs chick after the fall.I know many many do this, but in my book this is a definit NONO. My approach is alot smoother and does increase your chance of getting a lay with some standards, but if you really dont give a flying shit how she looks, you might aswell just find a whale at a disco. So, Lets get crackin.

Step 1: Here in The Netherlands we call it "voorspel" the term for you Nordic virgins would be "vorspiel" (I think), in sweden førfest (or something), i dont have a decent english word for it but something like a preparty. The party you have where you get loaded before you go out to the discos. THIS is the place to score the decent and good looking ones. You have to overwhelm them with your humour and wit. Talk about sex! LOTS. Girls love to talk about sex in the early stage of their drunkeness, talk about your dildocollection, about the ugly skank a friend of you pulled who had crabs and a big fat rug she could wrap around her legs as pubes. Make witty remarks as do you wanna do a 69? - What? - Yea you go down and ill owe you one. Etc etc. To make the chances of a score bigger, feel free to checkup a bunch of girls like this, prefferly at the same time, so they can talk about how fun and cool you are when your not around. If you have them on a roll before you get to the disco, it makes things so much easier once your there. In the disco stick to the girls, feel free to buy them a few drinks if your economy allowes it. Bring them out on the dancefloor, shake your ass, having the correct attitude is everything. Myself, im not a very good dancer, but i act like a good dancer, and when girls are drunk, thats alpha omega. Now, the clock is approaching 3am, the bar/club is closing soon, and you bring the girls (girl if you already have narrowed it down) to a NACHSPIEL. Again, no good english word for this. Afterparty? This is were you play really calm music, drink abit and FUCK. Yes its true. If you have a girl with you to a dutch nachspiel, none of you are feeling your gonna throw up, a fuck is almost 100% certain. I guarantee you some hot frenchkissing action and probably some tits/vagina coressing.

ps. Yes I'm aware I kinda skipped lesson#2 "the possible girlfriend" we'll save this one for tomorrow!

Very Happy Ravea the Night Elf, HELPING WoW Goofs GETTING LAID SINCE 2006

[Saissa]

Sex Vol. 6 (the follow up)

Getting the girlfriend. Oh my lord. Im pretty sure teaching you guys this is a task ment for the likes of Casanova, Hugh Hefner or some neener from the Kennedy family. But ill try my best, This night elf has a few tricks up his sleeve.

First i need to make something clear about what kinda girl the possible girlfriend can be. 99% of the boys out there has WAY TO HIGH standards for who they want to be their girlfriend, what happends is they walk around single forever because every girl they come over has a flaw or two, most of which are pretty ridicolus like her left big toe is bigger than the right etc.

Get your fucking acts togetter and stop being such god damn nidtwits, what matters is that she has charm, a humor that fits yours and is somebody you enjoy spending time with. I had a relationship with an VERY good looking girl once, all of my m8s were like OMG OMG and i guess i was kinda proud that i managed to pull her, but it was the shittiest relationship ever to see the face of the earth. She didnt say a word to my friends, she wasn't funny at all and i just hated spending time with her because it all got so embarrasing. So i learned the hard way, now im with a supercool chick which isnt a perfect 10 (I'd grade her a 8+ MUAHAHA), but has a charm and a humor that floors me. Thats the way to go!! Now. Im guessing most/maybe all of you have somebody in their mind, but you dont dare to take contact for diffrent reasons. Maybe shes not that perfect looking and your afraid what others will think, maybe shes too perfect and you think you dont stand a chance, maybe etc etc. But it all sums up for everybody to the fact that you dont dare to ask the question, will you go out with me sometime? ( For those who like a girl and are afraid about what others will think, please for the love of god stop caring about it and i promise you, if you tell your friends you like her they will back you up no matter what. Friends are like that altho you might not think so

Well. What can i say. Get the fuck over it, what do you have to lose? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? Excuses like oh it will ruin our friendship, or shes guaranteed to blow me off does NOT cut it. Just send an SMS if you have a cellphone, a mail maybe or just ask her. Do it right now, you live only once and your gonna regret in a few years, i swear you will, that you didnt get your act togetter and just asked that or this girl out. Now i have to run to get some beer for a party I got later on tonight....... STAY TUNED

Lots of Love Ravea

[Saissa]

Sex vol. 7

Welcome to Ravea's sex school, last part. Im going to take you goofs deeper into the world of rectum rallys, vagina poundings, juicewars and buttplugs. Questions that will be raised trough this course is what positions are the best, how to make the girls come over and over again, how to get a christian nun to take it up the ass, how to fuck girls trough the burka and what places to have sex, besides the bed, are best? But today im going to tell you how to get as much sex as possible out of a relationship and im going to divide the lesson into the short term relationships and the long term ones. Diffrent rules apply for these two categories im going to show you what rules that is.

Lets start witht he short term relationships:
The Short term Relationship: You meet a girl, you fuck her on the first date, you meet eachother 1-2 times aweek, you dont exactly LOVE spending time with her, its just more like somebody you can hang around
with a couple of times a week and get some sex. It's your standard short term relationship. These are the ones you want to try out the weird, sick shit with. And dont tell me you dont want too, of course you do. All men are sick fucks, some sicker than others sure, but basically we all want to do something nasty you can brag to your lads about later on in life. Fuck her in the ass when shes not looking, your doing her doggy style, you spit in her anus, keep on doing her from behind and kaboom, suddenly you just shove it up the reartube. If she freaks out, just say "oh shit, sorry, missed". If not just keep pumpin, its hella fun. Cum in her face, over her tits, in her ear, whatever you want to. I swear youll get a lifes laugh out of it. You not doing it just because its good (altho analsex is, feels just the same its just a tighter hole), your doing it to get streetcred amongst your pals. Of course you could lie, but seriously, wheres the fun in that. She might dump you if you pull something REALLY sick, so you might want to keep it to a hardcore-porn-level, if shes heard about it or seen it in a regular porn movie, she`ll probably be ok with it. But guys, explore! Thats what girls and vaginas are for anyway. Wonder what a vagina looks like inside? Bring a fucking flashlight to bed, it will keep you occupied for atleast a few hours and as long as you lubricate im sure she`ll like it aswell.

Yes I'm aware that this is a nasty post.. therefor no woman should be allowed in my forum(Ravea had his own spamforum @ Pinioned.com) KEK! long term shit comming soon

[Saissa]

Sex vol. 7 (the follow up)

The long term relationships:
These are you girls you love to hang out with, watch a movie, talk and of course, have sex with. Emotions are all over the place and lifes just fucking great. Now, how can things get even better. 99 outta a hundred girls are less horny than the regular man, therefor, if you dont have a few tricks up your sleeve, your not gonna get laid as often as you want too. And getting it more often isnt really as hard as you might think, just listen carefully. First step is to start talking about sex, alot. Not in that sick, fetish way that might leave her thinking that your a sexaddicted fuckmachine, which you ofcourse are, but again, she must not understand. Joke about it, smooth sex into your daily vocabular without seeming obsessive about it. Find funny sexstories and sexnews in your newspaper and show it to your girl, newspapers and internetpapers are full of them these days. I for one, found an article about how the molecyle semenin is superb as an agedefying skincreame, and guess one time where you find lots and lots of it. After a few months of brainwashing she`ll be thinking ALOT more on sex than she used to, thus wanting more sex.

Step 2 After every act of sex, tell her how fucking amazing she was. How she almost made you faint and how it was the best your ever ever had and probably ever gonna have. How you were are afraid you were going to cum so hard you would rip a fucking hole in her stomace, get my drift? If she thinks shes the fucking bomb in bed, she`ll be begging for it night after night, to show you her elite skills.

Step 3 Be good at sex.
If she gets multiple orgasms everytime you have sex, shell be eager as a fucking beaver. How to be good at sex is something we already discussed, im to lazy to ctrl+c, ctrl+v it over here.

OK I guess I've showed you sexmachines the way by now.. Use this knowledge wisely! hope you all enjoyed it so far

Regards,

Ravea